Mono-Drama

Right before my eyes,
You are so close,
I can almost reach out and touch you,
Yet I know you’re out of grasp,
Quite obviously oblivious to my feelings,
You only look right through me,
Almost as if I wasn’t even there.

The head cheerleader and the most beautiful girl around,
She’s always surrounded by a large group of people,
Every guy vyes to be with her,
They follow her everywhere,
I’m just one drop in an ocean,
She knows she runs the show.
Our circles couldn’t be any more polarized.

The thought of her being with me,
It’s laughable even to me,
The only similarity we share is that we go to the same school,
But different in every other way.
She’s so pretty that she draws everyone’s gazes,
And I’m average at best.
It’s not just her looks,
She’s every bit as smart as she’s beautiful,
With a personality that I envy,
With a congenial sense of humor and her infectious laugh.
Just her presence is enough to make me feel awestruck,
The difference between the two of us couldn’t be more apparent.

All these bizarre scenarios that I play out in my head each day,
I guess it’s alright for me to daydream,
I picture walking with her, laughing together,
She’s got her hand in mine,
These thoughts drive me crazy.
But when we meet in real life,
I’m disoriented and my tongue is tied in knots,
I’ll be content with just smiling back at you before walking away.
That one moment, I’ll think about it for the rest of the day,
Dwelling on it for so long and coming up with absurd signs that suggest we belong together.
Yes, I’m pathetic,
I don’t want to be awkward but that’s all I can be.
I’ve never been in an unrequited love before.

I go out of my way each morning just to catch a glimpse of you by the field,
I don’t mean any harm,
Nor do I intend to be creepy,
I just like to look at you.
But I’m only one out of hundreds of people that pass by you,
I’m not special to you,
And deep inside, I know I never will be.
I can’t imagine invoking the feelings in someone else that you’ve evoked in me.

How can I be upset over something that was never mine in the first place?
Maybe some day after I work enough on myself,
When I’m finally on the same pedestal I’ve placed you on,
I can look you in the eye courageously,
And my love will leave this tiny room,
When it comes to that,
Maybe my plight won’t be in vain.
But I still have a long way to go.

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