The Nile

The sight of this familiar ocean,
Far as the eye can see,
It haunts me,
Every day,
From when I wake up,
And when I fight for sleep,
I find myself stranded in the same place,
In the midst of a dark ocean,
With nothing to grab hold,
The waves that are your memories,
They rock me through the night,
Leaving me sleepless,
They became the cause of my insomnia,
The more I fight back,
The more I struggle,
The more I’m overpowered by the relentless tides that come crashing down so heavily on me.

Leaving me battered,
Worn out,
And lonely,
I forget what it’s like to be warm,
Those memories of you holding me,
Just like everything else,
They are starting to fade too,
Leaving in its place,
Only a gaping void,
And a longing,
A longing for us to go back to the way we were,
When things made sense,
And I was happy,
Something I haven’t felt in a good eternity now,
Instead of being sucked deeper into this whirlpool,
I miss the times you wrapped me in your arms,
A comfort I took for granted,
And one I miss so sorely.

Everything after you feels meaningless,
When the pain becomes too much to handle,
I close my eyes in the midst of chaos,
Wishing,
Hoping,
To see you when I open them next,
But it remains as pointless as ever,
The roaring ocean threatens to consume my sanity,
And the heavy storm,
Beats incessantly against my battered soul,
And the ripples caused by my tears,
Elucidate distant pictures of us,
Unwary of this unpleasant future,
Your smile became my only consolation on nights like these.

I drift further ashore with each passing day,
Unknowing of the destination,
Probably fading into oblivion,
Struggling to stay afloat,
But in my heart,
I will always carry on my love for you,
For what it’s worth,
Even after you left me,
The thoughts of you have continued to shield me from harsher storms,
They became something I could cherish,
A tiny ray of hope,
You probably won’t ever understand me,
But that’s okay,
I harbor no resentment,
Because you were once the dock that comforted me,
And your pretty hands,
Even if they’ve waved me goodbye now,
They kept me from sinking to the rock bottom once,
Touching my turbulent soul and letting it settle with your serene touches.

But that was the past,
And now,
Much as I squirm,
Lash out,
And try to break free,
All my attempts are futile,
I can’t help but be caught in this vicious current,
I keep getting more lost,
Far beyond the realms of the known,
Fading away into the horizon,
I still foolishly choose to cling on to false hopes,
Weighing me down like an anchor,
Even after you’re long gone,
I can’t stop picturing your face,
There is no escape from this bottomless ocean,
I guess I’m destined,
To forever keep drowning
In the Nile.

8 thoughts on “The Nile

Add yours

  1. Heartache is so painful and you capture it so well here. But fortunately, it fades and we love again. We heal. For me personally the excitement of something new coming one day out of the blue is a better buoy to cling to than the past.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I hope what you say is true, even if it may seem impossible at present.
      How have you been doing thoughhh? I REALLY need to catch up on your blog haha, life has kinda been keeping me on my toes to the point blogging regularly has become difficult 😪

      Like

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